Significantly Insignificant

I am not a professional blogger, but I occasionally, sporadically write for my blog.
I am not a gourmet chef, but I like to cook and think I cook well.
I am not a biscuit baker, but I make a pretty awesome iron skillet of cornbread.
I am not a pastry chef or delectable dessert maker, but I strive to recreate my mother's banana pudding and red velvet cake.
I am not as good at my job as I once was, but I am a recovering work-aholic and have a much more satisfying life.
I am not a perfect wife or mother, but I have a loving, forgiving husband and some really awesome daughters.
I am not the best friend a friend could have, but I am a friend who will walk alongside you through the good and the bad, without judgment or trying to fix you.
I am not an immaculate housekeeper, but friends and family are welcomed in my home anytime, without notice.
I am not an athlete, but I like to play.
I am not a teacher by trade, but I like to share thoughts and ideas about things I've read with others.
I am not a comedian, but I love to make people laugh.

I love water. I love being in it, on it, or under it.
I love oceans, lakes, rivers, creeks, streams, pools and bathtubs.
I love chimes on my front porch, comfortable pajamas, and a good story.
I love children and old people, but they can exhaust me equally.
I love to travel to places I've never been, but am always excited to return home.
I love the smell of sun dried laundry, coffee, babies, and bread.


Sometimes I'm selfish, or scared, or sad for no real reason.
Sometimes I make bad decisions, say bad words or even say something inappropriate or crude just to get a laugh.
Sometimes I over eat, over share, or over spend.

I stopped wearing a mask, and I've never felt more free.
I stopped wearing eye makeup, and I've never been seen more clearly.
I stopped coloring my hair, just to see what happens as I age and gray naturally.
I stopped worrying about having perfect attendance at church, and started being more concerned with how I act, think, speak, spend, eat, react, talk, love, treat others, or behave every day.

I hate when I compare myself to others, or worry what they think about me.
I hate when my words come out before I think about them, and can't get them back.
I hate when I hurt my daughter's feelings or rain on her parade.
I hate lines, and traffic, and poor service, but I'm learning there are life lessons in each of those.
I hate confrontation, but prefer it deeply over sweeping things under the rug.

My waistline is bigger than I'd like, but I eat ice cream anyway.
My feet, knees and hips sometimes hurt when I run, but I run anyway.
My handwriting is atrocious, but I write handwritten notes anyway.
My parents taught me some things directly, but so much more indirectly.

I wish I could tell the difference between someone complimenting me and mocking me.
I don't wish to read minds, but I do wish I could read motives.

I question when people use words like "always" or "never" or "everybody."
I question when people are vague or blame "they" or "them," but are unwilling to identify who.
I question when people are quick to complain, but slow to confront.

I am many things and nothing.
I am a daughter, sister, wife, mother, friend, disciple, employee, in-law, aunt, niece, care giver, law breaker, sinner, and nobody.
I am significantly insignificant, and I often wonder how, or even why, God will use me.

His story is bigger than I can imagine.
His love is more than I can fathom.
His mercy, His grace extend beyond boarders and boundaries.

He makes me perfectly me, I am nothing without I AM.

Front Porch Sittin'

I promised myself a few weeks ago that come March I would spend more time outside…praying, thinking, meditating. Specifically, sipping coffee on my front porch in the morning, as the sun would have already dried the furniture on that side of our house; and poolside in the afternoons, watching the sunset, sipping on a cool beverage, possibly fireside, reflecting the day.

Intentionally, praying to thank God for His gifts, talents, blessings, healing, forgiveness, family, and friendships. Intentionally, praying for each neighbor as I looked around the Ashley Lane Community…praying for open hearts, healing, and genuine community living. Intentionally, praying for personal struggles, our church, for our friends who are missionaries, for upcoming mission trips, for friend’s needs, and my family.


It rained heavily on March 1, so my plan did not become a reality. But today, as I write this, bright and early on March 2, the sun was shining! I grabbed a K-cup and brewed my favorite Gevalia Signature Blend into one of my favorite Turtleware Pottery mugs, with Proverbs 11:30 carved into the bottom rim. Wearing my favorite slippers, I snagged the Cannon County afghan off the couch (a memory of MaMa popped into my head), and I headed outside to our front porch and sat comfortably on our faux wicker settee.

The book I brought with me would have to wait a moment, as I breathed in the fresh air, listened to an amazing variety of birds singing, and enjoyed a neighbor’s chimes playing distantly in the breeze. I lifted up each neighbor (even when I couldn’t remember their name) to our Father, and then I began to read.

Currently, I’m reading a book by Kelly Minter, titled “No Other Gods.” I’m using this book as a guide for teaching our Ladies Bible Class on Wednesday nights this quarter. This book has enthralled me from the very first word. I frequently share an excerpt with my friend, Aletha via text.  And today, I decided to share in a blog…especially since I’ve been absent from blogging for a few of months.

I started a chapter called “Why Idols?” Much of this chapter, so far, reminds me of the Celebrate Recovery ministry that is so near and dear to me. There was this quote from Author Anne Lamott that says, “Almost everyone [is] struggling to wake up, to be loved, and not feel so afraid all the time. That’s what the cars, degrees, booze, and drugs [are] all about.”

Ahh, yes! So many hurts, habits, and hang-ups in our world today! So many of us hurting and trying to fill the void with busyness, stuff, food, and more! We fill the void by misusing drugs, alcohol, sex, fantasy and a variety of “bad” stuff; but we also fill the void by misusing “good” stuff: food, people/relationships, work, achievement, money, or entertainment, etc.

In the book, the author shares a story of a young girl who had been abused and struggled with one unhealthy relationship after another. Following a nine-month recovery program for abused women, she once again found herself in an unhealthy relationship with a man who didn’t have the same belief in God as she did, and was doing drugs. He enchanted her, as he would attend church with her, and he stopped doing drugs for her. She ended up falling into the trap of her own desires and slept with him, beginning the vicious cycle all over again.

The author intently listened as this young woman share her story, knowing that she could simply condemn her actions, but what good would that do? After all, as a Christian, she already knew God’s views on this situation. The author stated, “Truth that hadn’t made it into her heart because her pain and desire to be loved and held was so overwhelming she would justify any man in sight.” The author continues the story and begins to fixate on a crumb on the table, and her thoughts go to scripture, specifically Matthew 11:28.

Jesus says in Matthew 11:28, “Come to me, 
all you who are weary and burdened, and I will

give you rest.” Oh how we will travel to the ends of the earth, cross a busy, dangerous intersection, or swim through shark infested waters to go after our idol of choice. When with open arms, a Savior waits patiently for us to turn to Him. How sad our Father must feel when His own creation will fight with all our might for the crumbs of our own desires, when He has so much more for us.

All of these thoughts of hurting people in our world can sometimes make me feel heavy. I see people come and go through the doors of Celebrate Recovery. Those I see stay, and the testimonies I hear, bring hope and celebration! But, those who cannot fathom 
a better way than the destructive way they know leave me feeling sad.

My intentional front porch sittin’ in the morning, and late afternoon poolside times have certainly found a purpose... purposeful, intentional prayer over my friends and neighbors who are hurting in one-way or another; purposeful, intentional prayers of thanksgiving for the healing I’ve found in Jesus through Celebrate Recovery; purposeful, intentional prayers for my family, friends, and church.

As you come to the end of this blog post, I leave you with a question or two to ponder, questions I had hoped to share with the Ladies Class last night when the bell rang…

How are you hurting?

Who or what do you turn to for comfort?

There is hope. There is help. Perhaps if you join me in some front porch sittin’, in the stillness of the morning - pray, meditate on His word, listen to the birds – you just might find the fulfillment you’ve been looking for all along.

#bibleapp #celebraterecovery #timothynetwork #dbs #prayer #meditation #kellyminter