The Waiting is the Hardest Part

I’m a huge Tom Petty fan. My husband treated me to tickets to Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers 40^th Anniversary concert tour in Nashville for my birthday last year. We attended in April 2017, Tom passed away in October of that same year. I have many favorite TP songs, including The Waiting. The chorus goes like this:

The waiting is the hardest part
Every day you see one more card
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
The waiting is the hardest part

I’m fairly sure the song applies to finding that just right person in your life, but I think the chorus resonates in all areas of our lives…

·      Waiting to graduate

·      Waiting to find a spouse

·      Waiting to have a baby

·      Waiting on the results of a test

·      Waiting on the outcome of an interview

·      Waiting in line at the grocery store

·      Waiting for the trial you’re in the midst of to pass

I’ve been co-leading my third Celebrate Recovery Step Study this year. We began in March and will likely go through the end of the year. We are currently in the midst of writing our Moral and Spiritual Inventories. For those of you familiar with recovery, you know the inventory step is a hard one. For those of you who aren’t familiar, it is simply about evaluating your life…the good and the bad, and making a list of harms or hurts you’ve done to others or that have been done to you. But, it also includes all of the good stuff you’ve done.

This step, like healing in recovery, takes time. It’s a process. I mean, most good things do take time don’t they? Getting to the good stuff is a process…like homemade ice cream or learning to swim the freestyle gracefully (and without sucking water into your lungs). Okay, maybe those examples are just important to me, but surely you get my drift.

You’ve probably heard the old saying, “Good things come to those who wait,” or you maybe remember the 80’s Heinz “anticipation” commercial. Waiting isn’t much fun, but there are over 70 verses in the Bible that refer to patience as a virtue.  Yet, most of us pray, “Lord, give me patience…and give it to me now!”

The fact is the healing of a hurt, the overcoming of a habit, and the recognition of a hang-up takes time. Knowing which path to choose takes faith, trust, and waiting. We use a lot of phrases or clichés, if you will, in Celebrate Recovery and one of my favorites is, “Don’t quit before you get your miracle.”

Waiting is hard, y’all! We live in a microwave, instant pudding kind of culture. And we rarely have to wait for anything at all. Waiting does not mean idleness. Active waiting has to do with simply doing the next right thing. Here are some passages of scripture that help me when I’m in a season of waiting:

I love this passage of scripture from Isaiah 40:31

But they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

And another favorite is Romans 12:12

 

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

Constant in prayer! That is it! That’s how we wait. Even Tom Petty said, “You take it on faith.” Waiting, like life, really shouldn’t be done alone. What is it you are going through right now? Who can you reach out to for support? Who can wait alongside you in this trial?

I’ll leave you with words of our Father from Hebrews 13:5

            I will never leave you nor forsake you.

You, my friend, are not alone. I sit here waiting with you.

Turn, Turn, Turn

When I get to heaven I’m going to have a debate with the Apostle Paul over which of us is truly the chief sinner (1 Timothy 1:15). In case you don’t know Paul, he was a devout Jew, a Roman citizen, a Pharisee, and dedicated keeper of the law. So much so that he persecuted Christians, the early church, throwing them into prison or even having them stoned to death. He did all of this in good conscience, until the day Jesus appeared to him and then he changed. He turned away from his old way of living and became one of Christ’s biggest evangelists (read Acts 22 and 26).

Me, I have been attending church since I was three days old, baptized at the age of 13, taught Bible classes, served as a Bible camp counselor, and a host of other good works. However, I did much of this for many years without a changed heart or perhaps as a hypocrite. I was living one way on display for all to see, even telling others how they should be living, and yet I was secretly (or as far as I thought) entangled in sinful behaviors. I wore a mask for years, a façade, deeply involved in Christ-like activities in the public eye, yet living against much of what I claimed to believe. Unlike Paul, I did not do these activities in good conscience; I was full of guilt and shame. So, Paul, I win. I am the chief of all the sinners.

During a life/relationship crisis a good friend recommended I attend a CelebrateRecovery meeting. Through a Step Study, I learned that I truly needed to turn both my life and my will over to my higher power, Jesus Christ.

Step 3: “We made a decision to turn our lives and our wills over to the care of God.”

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship. Romans 12:1 NIV

Principle3: “Consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christ’s care and control.”

Happy are the meek. Matthew 5:5a TEV

I am currently co-leading my third Step Study. During a recent meeting, one of our sisters shared a quote by Francine Rivers that fit perfectly with our Lesson 5 – Turn:

“As a child, I’d asked Jesus to be my Savior.  What I didn’t understand is I needed to surrender my life to Him and allow Him to be LORD of my life as well. “

I have learned through conversation with many that this may actually be an issue with several Christians. And may also be the reason those who claim to be of Christ have a less than stellar reputation among the unchurched. You see there is a vast difference in having a Savior and having a Lord of your life. Most of us want a Savior, a hero, to be rescued or saved, but how many of us want a Lord over our lives?

We love control! We love being in charge of our own lives, even when we choose things that aren’t so good for us or don’t turn out very well. How could we possibly turn this control over to someone else; even our perfect Savior?

This isn’t a new issue.  We read about it many times in God’s Word. There is the story of the rich young ruler in Luke 18:18-23:

“And a ruler asked him, “Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” And Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone. You know the commandments: ‘Do not commit adultery, Do not murder, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Honor your father and mother.’” And he said, “All these I have kept from my youth.” When Jesus heard this, he said to him, “One thing you still lack. Sell all that you have and distribute to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” But when he heard these things, he became very sad, for he was extremely rich.”

He walked away very sad, as he decided to follow his own will instead of God’s will.

Then there is another piece of scripture we seem to want to separate. You know the one about pure religion found in James 1:27:

“Pure and undefiled religion before our ^[a God and Father is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself unstained by the world.”

Most Christians are pretty cool with helping widows and orphans, but we don’t really want to get into the part about keeping oneself unstained by the world.

As our Step Study moves on through the material we will get to Principle 5:

Principle 5: “Voluntarily submit to any and all changes God wants to make in my life and humbly ask Him to remove my character defects.”

“Blessed are they who hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.”

Filled. Satisfied. Complete. Whole. Knowing that He will fulfill our every need and desire, keeps me turning in His direction every day. And as my buddy Paul says in 1 Corinthians 11:1, "you should follow my example, just as I follow Christ’s."

Comfortable in the Fog

The Serenity Prayer is one of my favorite tools we use in Celebrate Recovery. In fact, we say this prayer at the end of each large group meeting. My co-leader and I also use this prayer to close out our weekly Step Study group meeting. It goes like this…

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardship as a pathway to peace; taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is; not as I would have it; trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to your will; so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with You forever in the next.” In Jesus Name, Amen

I’d like to highlight a few phrases from this prayer…

·      Living one day at a time

·      Enjoying one moment at a time

·      Trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to your will

Living one day at a time…

We humans have a tendency to either live in the past or in the future. Focusing on the past causes us to frequently use the phrase “If only.” If only he/she hadn’t cheated on me, if only I hadn’t met him/her, if only my dad/mom/spouse hadn’t been an alcoholic, if only we made more money...and the list goes on.  Or we live in the future, using phrases that begin with “when.” When I: get married, have a baby, graduate, get a better job, retire, or when ball season is over, I’ll…and so on.

Enjoying one moment at a time…

Wouldn’t it be great if we would simply live our life “enjoying one moment at a time?” Whenever I do live in the moment, I experience great joy! I’m a flexible and adaptable individual, but I have to admit I sure do love a checklist! Checking tasks off my lists exhilarates me! It makes me feel accomplished! This checklist mentality, while somewhat and sometimes productive, has been damaging to my ability to experience joy in the moment. It’s something I’m continuing to work on. But oh the joy, the pure happiness I enjoy and thrive on when I can get myself zoned in on this concept of “enjoying one moment at a time.”

Trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to your will…

Here it is! The kicker! The morale and context of this blog…TRUSTING! Lack of trust is the root of all worry. We worry about things that haven’t happened yet. We worry over situations that are in the past and can’t be changed. We worry about the weather. We worry about what to wear, what to eat. We worry, worry, and worry some more; when what we really need to do is trust. Trust that God will work things out for us. Trust the He will make all things right…not as we ordered, but right. God isn’t an order taker…He is a straight path maker. His will, not ours is what we surrender to in Celebrate Recovery.

Recently, I led our closing prayer at a Celebrate Recovery TEAM meeting; I ended the prayer asking God to help us become more comfortable in the fog. A fellow team member commented on how she liked this phrase and I started thinking about how much I have used this phrase with others since starting my recovery journey. It’s a phrase that helped me in the early weeks of my journey.

I first read about the “fog” concept in one of my all-time favorite daily devotionals, “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young. Her entry on November 16 shares how we look at the day ahead of us as a “twisted, complicated path…going off in all directions.” Yet, when we focus on Jesus, we look once again at the path ahead of us and “notice that a peaceful fog has settled over it, obscuring our view.”  When we learn to trust in God, we also learn to trust that he will guide us in the fog. As Sarah continues, “the fog is a protection” for us “calling us back into the present moment.”

It is so easy for us to either dwell on our past, or fantasize about our future. When in reality, today is all we have. We need the fog to keep us focused on the people in front of us in this very moment. We need the fog to keep us focused on doing the next right thing. We need the fog to keep us from getting out of bounds or thinking too far into the future.

The next time the path ahead of you seems overwhelming, ask God to send the fog to protect you. Or the next time you find yourself worrying about the fog, because you have no idea where He his leading you, ask God to give you an extra helping of trust. Remember, the story of Jesus and the demon-possessed boy in Mark 9? The father explains to Jesus how the spirit often throws his son into the fire or water, trying to kill him. In verse 22 the father pleads with Jesus, “Have mercy on us and help us if you can.” To which Jesus replies, “What do you mean, ‘If I can’?” Jesus continues, “Anything is possible if a person believes.” The father instantly cries out in verse 24, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!”

I remember praying this prayer during my brief separation from my husband in November/December 2013. It was a hard time. I had no idea what was in store for us. Would we divorce? Would we reconcile? I was totally in the fog. I wasn’t exactly grateful for the fog during this time, but I have grown to have an enormous affection for the fog. Had I known how awesome my marriage would be in 2018, I quite honestly wouldn’t have believed it back in 2013. I couldn’t have handled my future reality at that moment in time. Instead, I focused on trusting that He would make all things right, as I surrendered to His will.

Life isn’t perfect and I no longer expect it to be, but it sure is good and I experience great joy most days…as long as I stay comfortable in the fog.