Significantly Insignificant

I am not a professional blogger, but I occasionally, sporadically write for my blog.
I am not a gourmet chef, but I like to cook and think I cook well.
I am not a biscuit baker, but I make a pretty awesome iron skillet of cornbread.
I am not a pastry chef or delectable dessert maker, but I strive to recreate my mother's banana pudding and red velvet cake.
I am not as good at my job as I once was, but I am a recovering work-aholic and have a much more satisfying life.
I am not a perfect wife or mother, but I have a loving, forgiving husband and some really awesome daughters.
I am not the best friend a friend could have, but I am a friend who will walk alongside you through the good and the bad, without judgment or trying to fix you.
I am not an immaculate housekeeper, but friends and family are welcomed in my home anytime, without notice.
I am not an athlete, but I like to play.
I am not a teacher by trade, but I like to share thoughts and ideas about things I've read with others.
I am not a comedian, but I love to make people laugh.

I love water. I love being in it, on it, or under it.
I love oceans, lakes, rivers, creeks, streams, pools and bathtubs.
I love chimes on my front porch, comfortable pajamas, and a good story.
I love children and old people, but they can exhaust me equally.
I love to travel to places I've never been, but am always excited to return home.
I love the smell of sun dried laundry, coffee, babies, and bread.


Sometimes I'm selfish, or scared, or sad for no real reason.
Sometimes I make bad decisions, say bad words or even say something inappropriate or crude just to get a laugh.
Sometimes I over eat, over share, or over spend.

I stopped wearing a mask, and I've never felt more free.
I stopped wearing eye makeup, and I've never been seen more clearly.
I stopped coloring my hair, just to see what happens as I age and gray naturally.
I stopped worrying about having perfect attendance at church, and started being more concerned with how I act, think, speak, spend, eat, react, talk, love, treat others, or behave every day.

I hate when I compare myself to others, or worry what they think about me.
I hate when my words come out before I think about them, and can't get them back.
I hate when I hurt my daughter's feelings or rain on her parade.
I hate lines, and traffic, and poor service, but I'm learning there are life lessons in each of those.
I hate confrontation, but prefer it deeply over sweeping things under the rug.

My waistline is bigger than I'd like, but I eat ice cream anyway.
My feet, knees and hips sometimes hurt when I run, but I run anyway.
My handwriting is atrocious, but I write handwritten notes anyway.
My parents taught me some things directly, but so much more indirectly.

I wish I could tell the difference between someone complimenting me and mocking me.
I don't wish to read minds, but I do wish I could read motives.

I question when people use words like "always" or "never" or "everybody."
I question when people are vague or blame "they" or "them," but are unwilling to identify who.
I question when people are quick to complain, but slow to confront.

I am many things and nothing.
I am a daughter, sister, wife, mother, friend, disciple, employee, in-law, aunt, niece, care giver, law breaker, sinner, and nobody.
I am significantly insignificant, and I often wonder how, or even why, God will use me.

His story is bigger than I can imagine.
His love is more than I can fathom.
His mercy, His grace extend beyond boarders and boundaries.

He makes me perfectly me, I am nothing without I AM.

Love God, Love Others

There is a line from the Aaron Neville song “Don’t Know Much” that I absolutely love: “I don’t know much, but I know I love you. And that may be all I need to know.” THIS lyric describes my thoughts on religion and spirituality. I’m not ignorant of the scripture, and yes I believe we should “study to show ourselves approved,” as we are instructed in 2 Timothy 2:15. I mean, how else would we know how Jesus wants us to live if we don’t study The Word? But, I am underwhelmed by extreme theology, by the overwhelming desire to dig into the original languages of Hebrew and Greek. It’s not that I don’t think it’s necessary or helpful, it’s just that I am concerned that all too many “Christians” place so much emphasis on digging into The Word versus DOING The Word.

I have the awesome privilege of being a part of a ministry at my home church called The Well. For simplicity, it is an after school program for children from kindergarten through high school, held every Wednesday afternoon. One day a week, we get to love on kids, some from broken families or considered “at risk,” who may never grace the doors of our church otherwise.  Others are the children of our own volunteers, who attend worship services every Sunday. Regardless, we love on them. We show them the love of Jesus, help them with homework, share a lesson from God’s Word, and we feed them.

Our theme this quarter is the Fruit of the Spirit. Our lesson this past week was on LOVE. One of the simplest versus in the Bible is found in Matthew 22:37-39 – “You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself.” Did you see that? The FIRST and GREATEST commandment: Love God. Love others.  Do you need a PhD to understand that? I don’t think so. But, I will say, while the command is SIMPLE, it isn’t always easy.

I will share with you, however, that the kids GOT IT. The kids at The Well, they GOT IT. I work with the 6^th-12^th grade kids at The Well. You know the group, the 14 or 15 year old boy will tell you, “I don’t know how to read,” when you ask them to read a Bible verse. You know, the 12-year-old girl who won’t raise her hand, when you know she knows the answer to a question. This is a tough age group to work with, but I LOVE THEM. I really, truly LOVE THEM!

Do you know why I love them? I love them because they are snarky, sarcastic, and I can pick right back at them. But, I love them most, because when I asked them, “how do you know someone loves you?” “Tell me how someone has shown you love?” They were able to tell me. One teenage boy told me, “when my grandpa takes me hunting.” Another shared, “when mom cooks my favorite meal.” Yet, another shared, “when my uncle lets me drive his 4-wheeler.” I shared, in a way they’d understand, that I knew my husband loved me because he wanted me to pre-order the iPhone 7 and I didn’t even want a new phone. He showed love to me because he wanted better for me than I even wanted for myself.

Isn’t that what love is? Wanting better or more for someone than they even want for themselves. As the song says, “I don’t know much, but I know I love you. And that may be all I need to know.” I don’t know much, but I know God loves me, and that’s really all I need to know. How do I know He loves me? I know this because He gave His Son, His one and ONLY Son to die for me. 1John 3:16 tells us, “We know what real love is because Jesus gave up His life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters.”

My week has been a little crazy. My niece – who is more like a daughter, because we lost her mother nearly 20 years ago – had a near fatal car crash Monday morning. How do I know I love her? I know this because the minute I heard she had a car wreck, nothing else on my calendar mattered. All I knew was that I needed to get to her. I needed to make sure she was okay. And once I saw her, spoke with her, knew she was conscious, but didn’t know the extent of her injures; I knew I had to go pick up her kids from school. We HAD to be together that day as a family. NOTHING else mattered; not my work appointments, not my exercise routine, not my plans for Monday evening…NOTHING. LOVE was all that mattered.

If you know nothing about the conquest of Canaan, the 12 tribes of Israel, the 10 Commandments, or the Exodus; or you are overwhelmed when preachers use words like exegesis or the order of Melchizedek, do not fear. If scripture tells us the MAIN thing is to love God, and love others, then we can be faithful followers of Christ. If my students from The Well understand what love is, then just how much do we need to know in order to love?

Love God. Love others. Go show someone you love some love today! You know how, really you do!