Go Be Brave

Thirty-one years ago, in April 1988, we were blessed to become parents for the first time. We were blessed a second time in July 1993. Daughters, two of them…born to unqualified and unprepared parents. Oh, we planned to have children, but we were not prepared!

In 1988, we had only been married for three years, and had just survived our first major fight. We struggled in three fundamental areas of a successful marriage: faith, finances, and friendships. And yet, we managed to raise not one, but two, amazingly brave daughters.

Not perfect daughters, mind you. Oh no! Collectively, they wrote on walls and themselves. They danced in mud puddles while wearing white jeans. They lied to us, hid notes from teachers, made bad decisions, and ended up places they weren’t supposed to be. They’ve disobeyed, disrespected, and disenchanted us at times. But, wow, are they brave!

When your children grow up and do incredibly brave things, your emotions will absolutely run the gamut! I have felt, am feeling, or will be feeling all the feels…bursting with pride, sadness, joy, anxious, fear, grief, abundant love, and trust.

 

Being brave requires trust.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve known my daughters would go and do great things. I had no idea what they would do or become; and their plans, ideas, and dreams grew and changed over time. I also remember sharing with my daughters that I believed they would go and do great things…brave things. I expected it. I planned for it. I prayed for it. And I bet you did or do the same for your children.

I wonder though, when we say things like, “You can be anything you want!” Do we really mean it? Or do we mean, “You can be anything I want you to be!” Or “You can be anything as long as you live close by, get married, and have me some grandchildren!” Or a host of other hidden meanings.

The mystery of what they will do or who they will become is a part of the journey God allows us to participate in from the front row. We get to be their advisor, mentor, motivator, and cheerleader. We are not their dictator, but we are their invested and interested spectator. Like sitting on the front row of a final four basketball game, the role of parent / spectator is full of emotions…and trust is required.

Being brave requires trust.

Our oldest daughter has been a practicing Physicians Assistant, primarily working in urgent care and emergency departments, for the past six years. However, through her experience in a variety of mission trips, God revealed to her a desire to do more than simply practice medicine in America.

We are a little over a month into her move to Geita, Tanzania, Africa. She planned, prepared, and raised money for the past 18 months. She learned a new language and studied global pediatrics. She prayed, sought guidance from mentors, and had to submit a multitude of forms.

Did you know it is a 17 ½ hour flight to Tanzania? And that’s if there actually was a direct flight from Nashville, Tenn. to Dar es Salaam, Tanzania! I have prayed. I have met the family she will be living near and working with. I have prayed. I have talked to people I know who are involved in the work at Neema House, the orphanage where she will be working. I have prayed. I have fasted and prayed. I have cried and prayed. And prayed some more.

Being brave requires trust.

On this side of the planet, our youngest daughter obtained a bachelors degree in communications with a concentration in public relations; but through her volunteer activities in mission work, God revealed her passion and desire was to become a teacher. And so she returned to school to obtain her teaching certificate. She plans to teach high school English. This has been a 2 ½ year journey.

Did you know there were 82 school shootings in 2018? Did you know that 50% of new teachers are leaving the profession within their first five years? I have prayed. I have talked with friends who are teachers. I have talked with teachers who love what they do. I have prayed. I have fasted and prayed. I have cried and prayed. And prayed some more.

Being brave requires trust.

I grew up in a small country church and often sang the song, “Trust and Obey.” While ‘obey’ is not a popular word in our culture, I encourage you to replace that word with ‘follow,’ as in I will trust and follow God. The lyrics that ring out to me as I write are…

“When we walk with the Lord, in the light of His Word, what a glory He sheds on our way! While we do His good will, He abides with us still, and with all who will trust and obey [follow].”

I’ve been a highly invested spectator as I’ve watched each of my daughters follow the path God laid before them. I’ve watched them wait for Him. I’ve watched them trust in Him. I’ve watched as ‘He shed light on their way.’ I’ve watched them thank Him along their journeys.

Being brave requires trust. And mommas, I encourage you to trust Him with your little ones. Stand with me in bravery. Trust and obey [follow] Him as He sheds light on your way and the ways of your little ones.

And when this is difficult, and it will be, I have another song to encourage you:

“Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus” this version by Lauren Daigle.

I sing this often when I am alone and thoughts, concerns or worries fill my mind. He eliminates my fears. He calms my mind. And He reminds me that while He has allowed me a front row seat on this beautiful brave journey, they are ultimately His, and He has got them.

Being brave requires trust. Go. Be. Brave!

Help My Unbelief

We live our lives rushing through each day as if we know what is coming next. When in fact, if we actually knew what was coming next, we might curl up in bed vowing never to get out of it.

We work, we play, we plan, and especially growing up in American culture, we live life with expectancy. We expect to wake up the next morning, we expect to work with our employer until we are ready to retire or we choose to move on. We plan our vacations with expectancy of fun and relaxation. We go to the doctor for a check up with the expectation that all is well.

Working as a recruiter, I talk with a lot of people who suddenly find themselves unemployed. Most of them didn’t deserve the lay-off, it’s just that the company went in a different direction and had to make some tough decisions. The company’s survival was not dependent on the individual’s survival, but perhaps the individual’s survival was dependent on the company, at least financially.

I’ve seen the unexpected severance package be delivered to my friends and co-workers recently, and it is difficult to watch. I’ve boldly shared this statement over the years, “[The Company] is not in business to make sure Jill Spry has a job that she loves in the town where she wants to live.” While this statement is true, the hurt, sting, and fear are also very, very real when you find yourself in this unexpected situation. I have been blessed so far in my career, but I am keenly aware of the possibility. I have faith that the Holy Creator will provide all my needs, whether through this job or another. Yet, the human side of me cries out “help my unbelief!”

There are so many areas in our lives where fear takes hold and consumes us from time to time. Even when we know, “all things work together for good for those who love the Lord” Romans 8:28. Four years ago, our youngest daughter broke her arm. Little did we know, following some test, we would be facing an aneurysmal bone cyst (tumor). Thank God, the tumor was benign, but this set the course for semi-annual, then annual x-rays to ensure there was no new presence of the bone-eating tumor, that consumed most of her humerus.

Recently, following her annual check-up in March, we left with another thumbs-up sign from the doctor. Yet, a few weeks later, we received a call from her office that radiology recommends a repeat of the x-ray in three months. With all the faith we can muster, we go this Thursday, with the expectation of another thumbs-up. But, I have to admit; the human side of me is crying to our Father, “help my unbelief.”

Our oldest daughter is making grand plans to follow her calling to work with orphans in Africa. Much planning and fund raising have already taken place. Yet, paperwork snafus have occurred and the timing is uncertain. Hearing the “call” and not being able to move full steam ahead can become disheartening at best. This calling may or may not end up looking exactly as she has envisioned. With faith in a good, good Father, she continues to make plans to go. “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief,” Mark 9:24.

In the Bible, Mark chapter 9, we read that even the disciples, those closest to Jesus, struggled from time to time with their faith. The story tells of a father with a demon-possessed son, who came to the disciples seeking healing. He likely had heard of Jesus and the disciples and all of the healings and other miracles being performed. And yet, living with his son’s struggle for many years, he likely had doubt that true healing could actually be possible.

The father brought his son to the disciples, who couldn’t cast out the demon. A crowd gathered, and Jesus came over to check out the situation. In verse 19, he rebuked their lack of faith, “You faithless people, how long must I be with you?” He then asked that the boy be brought to him. Jesus asked how long has this been happening, and the father replied, “Since he was a little boy.” The father expounded, “The spirit often throws him into the fire or into the water, trying to kill him. Have mercy on us and help us, if you can.”

Sound familiar? “If you can.” A friend of mine recently gave me a gift, a bracelet with a cross. Inside the cross is a tiny mustard seed. It is a constant reminder of Matthew 17:20, “If you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.” Wow! Sometimes my faith must be a fourth of a mustard seed, or an eighth, or a hundredth of a mustard seed.

The story from Mark 9 continues on to share that the boy was indeed healed. The disciples later asked Jesus, “Why couldn’t we cast out that evil spirit?” And Jesus replied, “This kind can be cast out only by prayer.” (Note: some versions include fasting.)

Praying with faith isn’t always easy for me. I’d actually rather just submit my wish list, just like I have on Amazon. “God, here is how I’d like this situation to turn out, please and thank you.” Praying with faith and expectancy also must include a prayer for God’s will. I love this verse from Isaiah 55:8, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.”

My therapist would often use a phrase with me whenever I was voicing a concern about something in the future. He’d shrug and say, “Maybe, maybe not.” My job may or may not be secure, our youngest daughter’s tumor may or may not return, and our oldest daughter’s path to an African orphanage may or may not look very different than she planned. But I know one thing is for certain, His ways are far better than mine. And for all the unexpected hurdles to come into my life, I will pray: LORD, I believe, help my unbelief.

Turn, Turn, Turn

When I get to heaven I’m going to have a debate with the Apostle Paul over which of us is truly the chief sinner (1 Timothy 1:15). In case you don’t know Paul, he was a devout Jew, a Roman citizen, a Pharisee, and dedicated keeper of the law. So much so that he persecuted Christians, the early church, throwing them into prison or even having them stoned to death. He did all of this in good conscience, until the day Jesus appeared to him and then he changed. He turned away from his old way of living and became one of Christ’s biggest evangelists (read Acts 22 and 26).

Me, I have been attending church since I was three days old, baptized at the age of 13, taught Bible classes, served as a Bible camp counselor, and a host of other good works. However, I did much of this for many years without a changed heart or perhaps as a hypocrite. I was living one way on display for all to see, even telling others how they should be living, and yet I was secretly (or as far as I thought) entangled in sinful behaviors. I wore a mask for years, a façade, deeply involved in Christ-like activities in the public eye, yet living against much of what I claimed to believe. Unlike Paul, I did not do these activities in good conscience; I was full of guilt and shame. So, Paul, I win. I am the chief of all the sinners.

During a life/relationship crisis a good friend recommended I attend a CelebrateRecovery meeting. Through a Step Study, I learned that I truly needed to turn both my life and my will over to my higher power, Jesus Christ.

Step 3: “We made a decision to turn our lives and our wills over to the care of God.”

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship. Romans 12:1 NIV

Principle3: “Consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christ’s care and control.”

Happy are the meek. Matthew 5:5a TEV

I am currently co-leading my third Step Study. During a recent meeting, one of our sisters shared a quote by Francine Rivers that fit perfectly with our Lesson 5 – Turn:

“As a child, I’d asked Jesus to be my Savior.  What I didn’t understand is I needed to surrender my life to Him and allow Him to be LORD of my life as well. “

I have learned through conversation with many that this may actually be an issue with several Christians. And may also be the reason those who claim to be of Christ have a less than stellar reputation among the unchurched. You see there is a vast difference in having a Savior and having a Lord of your life. Most of us want a Savior, a hero, to be rescued or saved, but how many of us want a Lord over our lives?

We love control! We love being in charge of our own lives, even when we choose things that aren’t so good for us or don’t turn out very well. How could we possibly turn this control over to someone else; even our perfect Savior?

This isn’t a new issue.  We read about it many times in God’s Word. There is the story of the rich young ruler in Luke 18:18-23:

“And a ruler asked him, “Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” And Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone. You know the commandments: ‘Do not commit adultery, Do not murder, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Honor your father and mother.’” And he said, “All these I have kept from my youth.” When Jesus heard this, he said to him, “One thing you still lack. Sell all that you have and distribute to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” But when he heard these things, he became very sad, for he was extremely rich.”

He walked away very sad, as he decided to follow his own will instead of God’s will.

Then there is another piece of scripture we seem to want to separate. You know the one about pure religion found in James 1:27:

“Pure and undefiled religion before our ^[a God and Father is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself unstained by the world.”

Most Christians are pretty cool with helping widows and orphans, but we don’t really want to get into the part about keeping oneself unstained by the world.

As our Step Study moves on through the material we will get to Principle 5:

Principle 5: “Voluntarily submit to any and all changes God wants to make in my life and humbly ask Him to remove my character defects.”

“Blessed are they who hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.”

Filled. Satisfied. Complete. Whole. Knowing that He will fulfill our every need and desire, keeps me turning in His direction every day. And as my buddy Paul says in 1 Corinthians 11:1, "you should follow my example, just as I follow Christ’s."

Comfortable in the Fog

The Serenity Prayer is one of my favorite tools we use in Celebrate Recovery. In fact, we say this prayer at the end of each large group meeting. My co-leader and I also use this prayer to close out our weekly Step Study group meeting. It goes like this…

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardship as a pathway to peace; taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is; not as I would have it; trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to your will; so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with You forever in the next.” In Jesus Name, Amen

I’d like to highlight a few phrases from this prayer…

·      Living one day at a time

·      Enjoying one moment at a time

·      Trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to your will

Living one day at a time…

We humans have a tendency to either live in the past or in the future. Focusing on the past causes us to frequently use the phrase “If only.” If only he/she hadn’t cheated on me, if only I hadn’t met him/her, if only my dad/mom/spouse hadn’t been an alcoholic, if only we made more money...and the list goes on.  Or we live in the future, using phrases that begin with “when.” When I: get married, have a baby, graduate, get a better job, retire, or when ball season is over, I’ll…and so on.

Enjoying one moment at a time…

Wouldn’t it be great if we would simply live our life “enjoying one moment at a time?” Whenever I do live in the moment, I experience great joy! I’m a flexible and adaptable individual, but I have to admit I sure do love a checklist! Checking tasks off my lists exhilarates me! It makes me feel accomplished! This checklist mentality, while somewhat and sometimes productive, has been damaging to my ability to experience joy in the moment. It’s something I’m continuing to work on. But oh the joy, the pure happiness I enjoy and thrive on when I can get myself zoned in on this concept of “enjoying one moment at a time.”

Trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to your will…

Here it is! The kicker! The morale and context of this blog…TRUSTING! Lack of trust is the root of all worry. We worry about things that haven’t happened yet. We worry over situations that are in the past and can’t be changed. We worry about the weather. We worry about what to wear, what to eat. We worry, worry, and worry some more; when what we really need to do is trust. Trust that God will work things out for us. Trust the He will make all things right…not as we ordered, but right. God isn’t an order taker…He is a straight path maker. His will, not ours is what we surrender to in Celebrate Recovery.

Recently, I led our closing prayer at a Celebrate Recovery TEAM meeting; I ended the prayer asking God to help us become more comfortable in the fog. A fellow team member commented on how she liked this phrase and I started thinking about how much I have used this phrase with others since starting my recovery journey. It’s a phrase that helped me in the early weeks of my journey.

I first read about the “fog” concept in one of my all-time favorite daily devotionals, “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young. Her entry on November 16 shares how we look at the day ahead of us as a “twisted, complicated path…going off in all directions.” Yet, when we focus on Jesus, we look once again at the path ahead of us and “notice that a peaceful fog has settled over it, obscuring our view.”  When we learn to trust in God, we also learn to trust that he will guide us in the fog. As Sarah continues, “the fog is a protection” for us “calling us back into the present moment.”

It is so easy for us to either dwell on our past, or fantasize about our future. When in reality, today is all we have. We need the fog to keep us focused on the people in front of us in this very moment. We need the fog to keep us focused on doing the next right thing. We need the fog to keep us from getting out of bounds or thinking too far into the future.

The next time the path ahead of you seems overwhelming, ask God to send the fog to protect you. Or the next time you find yourself worrying about the fog, because you have no idea where He his leading you, ask God to give you an extra helping of trust. Remember, the story of Jesus and the demon-possessed boy in Mark 9? The father explains to Jesus how the spirit often throws his son into the fire or water, trying to kill him. In verse 22 the father pleads with Jesus, “Have mercy on us and help us if you can.” To which Jesus replies, “What do you mean, ‘If I can’?” Jesus continues, “Anything is possible if a person believes.” The father instantly cries out in verse 24, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!”

I remember praying this prayer during my brief separation from my husband in November/December 2013. It was a hard time. I had no idea what was in store for us. Would we divorce? Would we reconcile? I was totally in the fog. I wasn’t exactly grateful for the fog during this time, but I have grown to have an enormous affection for the fog. Had I known how awesome my marriage would be in 2018, I quite honestly wouldn’t have believed it back in 2013. I couldn’t have handled my future reality at that moment in time. Instead, I focused on trusting that He would make all things right, as I surrendered to His will.

Life isn’t perfect and I no longer expect it to be, but it sure is good and I experience great joy most days…as long as I stay comfortable in the fog.